Wild{Whim} for Bellin

Had a wonderful photoshoot with WildWhim Photography & am very pleased with these sweet captures of my beautiful Bellin & I.

First Day With Sharon

Leaving Bellin for the first time with Sharon. We LOVE her!

Here is Sharon & Abe

(Bellin is sleepy :) )

Oh my goodness! Daddy is having a hard time. There may have been a few tears shed...

We survived! And were home. Here on the left is the schedule Bellin was on today, from her wet diapers, to her feedings and naps. Were so lucky to have Sharon!

And here on the right is Bellin...Home...Cozy in her bassinet napping. 

It was a surreal feeling today...Leaving work and driving to pick up my little girl. As I drive down Lynn road, no music playing in my car (this is rare) all I could hear were my thoughts..." I wonder what Bellin did today, I wonder how she fell asleep, I wonder if she missed us".

It was so nice to pull up to Sharon's and see my little girl happy and safe.

We drove home & listened to Christmas music the whole way.

Today was a good day.

Tonight started out mellow. A nice fire in the fire place & watching a few movies after running errands. I got dinner ready, and I started a movie that had my wheels spinning. My whole life, I've never been afraid to die. I've thought about when I go, what it will be like, how old I will be...etc. I've thought about different reasons why I would die, and where I would be in my life, but still never afraid...Until tonight. Tonight I started this movie called Beginners. I'm not entirely sure if this movie was supposed to have the effect on me that it did. It brought up recent memories of my grandmother passing. She became very sick a few years ago and fought a very rare and strong disease. She ended up passing in the hospital after 2 years of a long, hard fight. This movie tonight reminded me of how strong she was. How she never showed fear (in front of me at least). It reminded me of how she fought until SHE was done fighting. I believe, after long enough in the hospital, my grandma was tired. She was tired of fighting and being sick. So when she was ready, she went.
Watching this movie snuggled up on my sofa with Abe and Bellin, I looked over at Bellin and thought, "how could I ever leave you behind" , "Who would love you and take care of you like I do", "Who is going to teach you right from wrong", "who is going to be your best friend". I've never been so afraid.
Being a mother is most bittersweet feeling. It is incredible, but you don't want to fail. All you can do is love, and love hard.

The moment my life changed forever.

The Great Pumpkin

Happy Halloween!

It's The Great Pumpkin

Mommy doesn't know how to edit very well, but I am learning!!! 

Bellin's first Halloween!

"Thanks for helping mom, daddy."

Baby Bel LOVES her swing thing!!

We have the Cradle n' Swing By: Fisher Price and Bellin just loves it! We put her in it when she is calm and she watches the little lambs turn around, and listens to the music soothe her.

Here are some pictures of Bellin's first time in her SWING THING! 

So amazed!

And my favorite :)

Bellin meets the Great Grandma Elousie

On Sunday afternoon we put Bellin in the car & went down

 to visit GREAT Grandma Elouise, & the Carreno side of the family.

It was nice to visit & for them to experience the joy of Bellin.

October 16th, 2011

Great Grandma Elsie

Aunt Anette

Cousin Johnny

Abe, Elouise, & Bellin

Pumpkin Patchin'

Mom & Dad's first outing together without Bel.

 To the pumpkin patch we go!

The Nursery of Bellin

I refinished this dresser a long time ago in preparation for Bellin. Turned out perfect :)

Our VERY cozy chair.

Homemade curtains! My dad brought home these branches from his wood lot. And I simply tied our fabric in bows and connected it to the branch with twine.

This is the record player from Target. We painted it to be darker brown, like a stain (The original tone was way to ORANGE! Ewww). And we added legs to make it feel like a piece of furniture. I sit in our chair and sing to Bellin with this player <3

I designed this bedding for Bellin. She WILL LOVE it. :)

I made this painting out of old wood. I stained it, and painted the tree. I am not a great artist, so I had a dear friend draw the bird on for me. She is pretty amazing! This is a wonderful piece of art made with LOVE.

Her coming home outfit <3

I wanted textured walls, like old Italy. 

^

A beautiful gift from a beautiful friend!

Chandeliers I found at a yard sale!

Dearest Bellin:

"No one will ever know the strength of my LOVE for you, after all you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."

We did Bellin's room with the help of a few friends in TWO days. It was a wonderful journey watching this room transform for my little girl. There is nothing like watching your vision come alive. I can not wait to spend countless nights rocking my baby to sleep in this cozy space.

Bellin's Birth

On our way to have our lives changed forever.

9-26-2011:(8:30 pm)

We finally got the phone call we have been waiting for! Los Robles LDR is ready for us to come down and check in for my induction. I felt like the weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was ready to meet our little girl. So we packed our jammies, and misc items that of course we needed NONE of, and off we went. It was 9:30pm, so the hospital was quite and calm. Just what the doctor ordered.

We checked in, went upstairs, and got as cozy as we could in the room that would change our lives forever. I was induced with Cervidal, which softened my cervix and allowed for my contractions to start. They placed it at night time and by the next morning I was contracting and dilated 1cm. My nurse Kim had started her very long shift with me, and that is when our journey began. She monitored me closely all day, tended to my every ache, pain, and question. ( I ask a lot of questions)

She was wonderful. Had a calm disposition and a kind soul. I was sitting tight from 1-3cm. It took all day to get to 3cm. Once I had gotten to 3, an hour and half later I started to feel some pressure, so I let Kim know and turns out I had jumped straight to 9 1/2 cm. (At 10 you are ready to deliver) So Kim thought it was a good idea to do a test push. Abe held one leg back in position, and she held another. She gave me breathing & pushing directions, and so it began, the FIRST PUSH! Little did we know that first series of pushes would be fallowed by a prompt phone call to the doctor because we are GONNA HAVE A BABY!

The Dr.T came down checked me out. Sure enough, Bellin was ready to come. Kim was at the end of her shift, and HAD to clock out. She was finishing up with me and I noticed she had a tear in her eye. After our long journey together she was going to miss the final destination. She had the saddest look on her face. I held her hand & cried. I said "Thank you so much for all you have done for me, you have truly been a wonderful piece of my journey and I will never forget you." A flood of nurses came in the room, Abe stood tall by the side of my bed, and held my hand. We watched as they set up to deliver our little girl. Dr. T got suited up, and the pushing began...One, Two, Three pushes. "Very good." Dr.T says, "If you keep pushing like that, next time were going to have a baby." On his count, we started the next three pushes...One, Two....Here she comes, on the final third push, Bellin Monet Carreno entered the world.

Tuesday 9-27-11 7:21pm 6lbs. 12oz 20 1/2" long. Absolute perfection.

She was whisked away to the table to be check out by the NICU nurses because upon arrival her heart rate had started to drop. But I heard those lungs, and I knew my baby girl was just fine. The doc finished up with me and the placed our little girl upon my chest. Unbelievable. She is FINALLY here. I had been waiting for what felt like an eternity. I knew when her skin touched mine, that this was meant to be. I was meant to be a mommy, and she was made for me. 

I had the most wonderful experience giving birth. The whole journey was peaceful & calm. 

Just pure bliss.

Throughout the rest of my stay at Los Robles getting acclimated to being a new mom, and recovering from delivery, I was treated like gold, and had the best nurses, who have taught me my first lessons of being a mom, and the proper way to care for her.

It is no secret that I did not enjoy being pregnant, but becoming a mom is indescribable. And for those who have asked if I am going to do this again: I understand now, & the answer is YES.