Friday, November 18, 2011

Wild{Whim} for Bellin

Had a wonderful photoshoot with WildWhim Photography & am very pleased with these sweet captures of my beautiful Bellin & I.





Tuesday, November 15, 2011

First Day With Sharon


Leaving Bellin for the first time with Sharon. We LOVE her!

Here is Sharon & Abe
(Bellin is sleepy :) )

Oh my goodness! Daddy is having a hard time. There may have been a few tears shed...
We survived! And were home. Here on the left is the schedule Bellin was on today, from her wet diapers, to her feedings and naps. Were so lucky to have Sharon!
And here on the right is Bellin...Home...Cozy in her bassinet napping. 

It was a surreal feeling today...Leaving work and driving to pick up my little girl. As I drive down Lynn road, no music playing in my car (this is rare) all I could hear were my thoughts..." I wonder what Bellin did today, I wonder how she fell asleep, I wonder if she missed us".
It was so nice to pull up to Sharon's and see my little girl happy and safe.
We drove home & listened to Christmas music the whole way.
Today was a good day.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Tonight started out mellow. A nice fire in the fire place & watching a few movies after running errands. I got dinner ready, and I started a movie that had my wheels spinning. My whole life, I've never been afraid to die. I've thought about when I go, what it will be like, how old I will be...etc. I've thought about different reasons why I would die, and where I would be in my life, but still never afraid...Until tonight. Tonight I started this movie called Beginners. I'm not entirely sure if this movie was supposed to have the effect on me that it did. It brought up recent memories of my grandmother passing. She became very sick a few years ago and fought a very rare and strong disease. She ended up passing in the hospital after 2 years of a long, hard fight. This movie tonight reminded me of how strong she was. How she never showed fear (in front of me at least). It reminded me of how she fought until SHE was done fighting. I believe, after long enough in the hospital, my grandma was tired. She was tired of fighting and being sick. So when she was ready, she went.
Watching this movie snuggled up on my sofa with Abe and Bellin, I looked over at Bellin and thought, "how could I ever leave you behind" , "Who would love you and take care of you like I do", "Who is going to teach you right from wrong", "who is going to be your best friend". I've never been so afraid.
Being a mother is most bittersweet feeling. It is incredible, but you don't want to fail. All you can do is love, and love hard.
The moment my life changed forever.